Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Why It's Important for You to Listen to Noble Beast


When your favorite genre's subject matter typically alternates between death, dying, killing, Satan, and dying, you need something to remind you that there are good things left in this world - like imagining a fantasy world that actually has good things in it. Where the winged dragon roams the skies above castle-crowned hills and everflowing streams. Where valor is prized above all and conflicts are reduced to the glorious simplicity of steel versus steel. Where climbing your staircase doesn't make you gasp for air and you can hide your frankly impressive acne under an iron crafted helmet. Doesn't that sound nice? Well, my bummed-out brethren, Noble Beast can take you there.

Way better than your stupid life.

The sad truth is that Noble Beast's self-titled debut was overlooked by too many of you self-proclaimed metalheads when nary a soul should have missed it this year. Throw yourself at the feet of the metal gods and beg forgiveness, because I can't remember the last time I heard a cut of ballsy power metal this good, let alone on a new band's debut album.

Riffs unparalleled in their supreme headbangability trade off with choruses so catchy they'll claim your feeble mortal mind and nourish it throughout the day with power and metal wisdom. Rob Jalonen's vocals are incredibly theatrical but also rugged and robust, which stands out refreshingly in the endless sea of castrated male singers that dominate the genre. He stands with Joakim Brodén of Sabaton as proof that power metal needs more baritones. 

These anthems of heroism and steadfastness in the face of certain death will send direct a pillar of undiffused zeal to your shriveled heart raisin and cause the darkness to flee to the unknown depths of distant Cimmerian caverns. Listen to Noble Beast and steel yourself against the ceaseless beatings you subject yourself to as a metalhead. You need this. It's for your health.




4 comments:

  1. First. \m/

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  2. I feel like power metal's actually gotten better with time.

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  3. I wholeheartedly agree, young Steelcock.

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  4. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwnipCkNgDw Care to reminisce?

    ReplyDelete