Friday, June 27, 2014

A Gruesome Recommendation

Be it known that despite futile attempts to supplant, Masterlord SteelDragon holds sway of the Burning SteelDragon Brotherhood of Burning DragonSteel. Notwithstanding, the accused is hereby absolved of his sins by virtue of both the density of his beard and his admirable efforts to draw the Metal from the dry teet of a plebeian children's book. That being said, further confusion will result in certain death. 

Speaking of death, do you like Death? If you answered no, kindly remove yourself from this esteemed blog and then the entire planet. If you answered yes then congratulations. You've earned your keep. Death rules. But this post isn't really about Death. It's about Gruesome, a band that sounds like Death.

Exhumed vocalist/guitarist Matt Harvey, ex-Malevolent Creation drummer Gus Rios (recently fired by his doltish/apparently homophobic band mates), Possessed guitarist Daniel Gonzalez, and bassist Robin Mazen of Derkéta have gathered together this day to worship the Old Gods of death metal. If you happen to like any of the aforementioned bands, which you should unless you suffer from severe hearing loss due to a perforated tympanic membrane, you are hereby advised to check out Gruesome. Furthermore, if you suffer from severe hearing loss due to a perforated tympanic membrane, seek medical help immediately. Because you might experience blood or pus drainage from the ear. Which is actually more metal than you.

Matt Harvey's feral snarling has been focused into filth-ridden groaning and howling about blood, guts and all things gruesome. Muddy tremolos and frantic drumming churn together into a froth of metal slop reminiscent of your gross blood-pus, which we discussed. Slower, heavier riffs burst through the spume-layer just to uppercut you with the primitive cudgel of Death and leave you alone in the muck. Naked. No, it's nothing new. But it is something old done the right way. One who often finds themselves missing the gory days (HA!) of death metal might want to check it out. 

Gruesome recently signed with Relapse Records and their debut is set for release in early 2015. Until then, you can buy two killer demo tracks on their Bandcamp for the price of your choosing (yes, even $0.00 you dick). Did I pay for them, you ask? That's none of your business because you don't know my situation. What if Masterlord SteelDragon just got shitcanned from his exceedingly metal occupation: packaging and shipping trinkets and souvenirs (of steel)? Leave me alone. Just go listen to Gruesome. As their lyrics say... "Death lies waiting just beyond."

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